E is for Epiphany
Evolving epiphany in the elephant eternity of my body, I am home.Naked, but I’m not alone. He’s looking at me like he’s fascinated and I look at him and am fascinated. There’s a foot between us; we’re not touching. “I want you to look at me.” I have to concentrate: I’m not going to suck-it-in hoping that my tummy will concave somewhere past my spinal cord into the bed.
“Look at me.”
“I am.”
“What do you see?”
“You.”
I want to ask him if he likes what he sees, but I don’t. He reaches out to touch me and smiles; the lines around his grey-blue eyes become more apparent. I touch my fingers to my lips and then reach out and touch fingers to his lips. Holding my hand, he kisses my palm, the veins in my wrist. I can feel my pulse in my ears, his body against mine.
Flesh like falling, falling, falling. Ferocious. Female. Fat. Fucking Fabulous.
It’s not that easy. I couldn’t just make the switch and wake up one day loving my body. I relapse. Standing in front of the mirror. I stare. Breaking up my body into parts, I analyze each one. Feet: damn my feet are cute. Calves: okay. Thighs: skip. Ass: booty is in, right? Stomach: pass. Arms: my elbows are nice. Breasts: check. Face: cute when I suck my cheeks in. I wrap myself in a towel and curl up on my bed.
I’m starting to think it may be difficult to get through the whole alphabet. Are you okay? Are you shocked? Disgusted? Would you kiss a fat person? Or would you be worried about how you would look together when you’re walking down the street? Would you do it on a dare? I dare you. Double-dog dare you. Are you there? Brian? Grandma?
posted by CV @ 12:06 PM
2 Comments:
hey, I've kissed you and I think you're gorgeous :)
-Fish
Thanks. I needed that. Although, just to clarify, the Brian mentioned in this post is not you, but rather a Brian that used to make fun of me when I was in 5th grade.
Post a Comment
<< Home