A is for Ass

C is for Comforter

Cavernous creation where soul might be, where more might be, if I wasn’t so focused on how there’s so much of me.
So much of me.
So much of me.
So much of me.

But wait, this is funny right? Fat and funny go together like fries and super size. When I was ten I took an Exacto knife to my Precious Moments comforter, thinking that it wasn’t precious or comforting. That was the day I came home crying from 5th grade again. Brian (later high school drop-out and probable inmate) decided to rename me. It was like Baptism, but without holy water. I wonder if God was watching when Brian started calling me Big Fat Melissa, or BFM for short. You see, I was one of those kids whose head spent more time in books than in front of the TV. I was reading Rahl Dahl’s BFG when Brian spotted me in a crowd of students waiting to go on a field trip.

“Boom boom boom boom.” Brian found it immensely amusing to put a soundtrack to my movements. “What you reading, lardass?”
“The BFG.”
“What’s that about?”
“Big Friendly Giant – that’s what it stands for.”
“Hahaaa. How about Big Fat Melissa.” It wasn’t a question. Murmurs and laughs come from the surrounding students, but when Betsy, the popular girl, laughed my fate was sealed. The name stuck.

posted by CV @ 5:57 PM