A is for Ass

D is for Dead

Dead, I’d be better off.

Did you know that over half of women between 18 and 25 would rather toss themselves in front of a Mack truck than be fat?* I imagine myself on the side of the road, gravel underfoot, and the occasional cactus pointing the way. Do it. Just Do It. The trucks ride by at eighty miles-per-hour throwing dirt in my eyes. Does anyone see me here? Probably not. We only see thin people. Beautiful people. I imagine the truckers sitting in their cushioned seats, smoking cigarettes and talking smack over the CB radio. I reach into my pocket, pull out a piece of gum, and place it on my tongue. Chewsugarchewsugar. A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down. I take a step forward. I pass the yellow line. I think of the speedometer on the truck as if it’s the weight on the scale. Too fast to stop. Too fat to stop.


* J.J. Brumberg, "The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls," (New York: Random House, 1997).

posted by CV @ 3:54 AM